Episode 5.
Looking back at it, we sure have a lot of memories.
The fifth episode already.
There's only a total of nine episodes. Not much left.
The show that kicked off my career was a program called Young Oh! Oh!
That got me TV work.
It was all thanks to Big Bro Sanshi, who's now called Bunshi.
He recommended me for the show.
But on that show we had another big brother called Kosome.
He was outrageous. He was a cast member.
The thing was, he was a bigger brother than Sanshi.
So, whenever Kosome did something wrong, Sanshi ended up telling me off.
To keep everyone on their toes, Sanshi would say,
"What the hell is this?" And I'd get in trouble.
One time, Big Bro Sanshi got really angry.
He came in yelling, "Come here, Sanma!" Actually,
"Sanma, come here."
And I said, "Sir? What is it?"
I hadn't made a mistake, so, I was wondering what was wrong.
But Sanshi kept saying, "What the hell was that?"
Then he thumped the desk and yelled, "Who the hell do you think I am?"
But when he slapped the desk, he bounced off it,
and fell back in his chair.
He went smack down on the floor behind.
And as I looked over at him, he truly was amazing.
As he fell he said, "Consider yourself warned!"
So, I ended up laughing. And that got him even angrier.
He said, "Why the hell are you laughing?"
And then, after Sanshi finally left, Kosome came in.
He said, "I'm sorry for all this, Sanma.
I feel so bad. It was all my fault." And then...
He always invited me to dinner, but that's what hurt most.
It was like a court sentence. "You shall be dragged around town."
That's what Kosome was like. He always drank until the next morning.
And one time, we went out...
There were a bunch of guys doing roadwork.
They were down a hole, in the middle of the night.
But Kosome was drunk.
He asked them, "What are you doing?"
They said, "Oh, it's Kosome. We're down here digging a hole!"
"Really? Let me bury you."
He kicked all the earth they dug up back in the hole.
"What the hell are you doing?" At midnight, from the bottom of a hole,
"What the hell is your problem, asshole? We're gonna kill you, Kosome!"
And Kosome, still wearing his kimono, said, "Time to run away."
And we ran. All the way to the wholesale markets.
Then at the wholesale markets, he started looking at frozen tuna.
Then he said,
"I'm gonna piss on it."
He peed on the frozen tuna.
He was so drunk.
The guy from the markets went crazy. He came at us with a hook.
"Assholes! I'm gonna kill you!"
Kosome said, "Oh, he's gonna kill us." We ran all through the markets.
I was saying, "I'm sorry. Forgive us. Please!"
I went around apologizing so much back then.
The other guy who drank until the next morning was Yasushi.
Master Yasushi sure did.
We'd drink until 4 a.m., then he'd say, "Come back to my place."
He always made me listen to the sound of boat engines.
He'd say, "This is Yamaha's whatever. That's such-and-such. That's so-and-so."
I'd say, "Thank you, sir!" But when I went to leave he said,
"Your test starts in 30 minutes."
l was like, "But it's already 5 a.m." I had to listen again.
"What's this?" "Yamaha's such-and-such!"
"Correct!"
They were all crazy.
The kids at the NSC comedy academy have it so good.
They don't have to go through all that.
So, next up is Episode 5? Let's take a look. Go for it.
JNV NEWS FLASH
We interrupt the show to bring you breaking news.
A plane scheduled to arrive in Osaka at 9 p.m. has crashed.
That can't be true.
It's believed 500 passengers...
-and crew were onboard... -Young Boss...
Thirty minutes after departing Haneda Airport,
they reported an emergency.
But Young Boss hates airplanes.
So, why? Why would he catch a plane?
He said he hates airplanes, right?
No. He's not on it.
He's not on it, right?
Right?
Tell me he's not on it!
Please tell me it's not true!
Young Boss!
Someone call me?
"Young Boss"?
Keep yelling that, and it'll sound like I'm called "Young Boss."
What is it?
-Were you okay? -Why wouldn't I be?
-The news... -That's enough.
-Enough from you, too. -I'm sorry.
Everyone in Japan knows about that news.
The shoot finished early, so, I caught the flight before. Lucky me.
-That was your flight? -It sure was.
What?
Oh, did you think I was on it?
Tossan said you were.
No, I didn't. I said I thought you were gonna catch it.
Then Jimmy started crying.
Yes, you did say it!
-Were you sad? -Yes.
-Did you cry? -Yes.
-What about Shoji? -I laughed.
-Hey! -Of course I didn't!
What's with you?
Well, whatever happened... You are super lucky.
-Could you share some super luck with me? -It will cost you.
How much? If it's 1000 yen, I'll buy the lot.
My luck's not that cheap. It's super luck. -I'll pay 200 yen more! -Oh, I'll think it over. Idiot!
-Why? -One minute ago, you were all crying.
Shouldn't you still be a little worried?
Young Boss!
You guys are such bad actors.
It's okay. Don't cry.
Cut that out, baldy!
Enough! Quit it!
EPISODE 5
ONE YEAR LATER
Really? Jimmy became Sanma's driver?
But there's more.
He went on a two-week fail-safe course to get his license.
It took him a year.
-A year? -Yep!
-A year? -A whole year!
-Is it safe to ride with him? -He causes so much trouble.
But he's over the moon because he's with Mr. Sanma all day, every day.
And you always have to look after him? Well, that's what big brothers do.
-No way! -I'm busy enough looking after myself.
Everyone has to look after their little brother one day. I wished someone would look after my little private parts.
Want me to? No way.
Chief Udagawa is on the phone.
It's the first meeting of the new series.
He hasn't arrived at the airport yet.
So, where is Sanma?
Jimmy. Jimmy.
Jimmy! I'm sorry!
-Hey! Jimmy, were you sleeping? -No, I wasn't.
It's just that when I watch these wipers go back and forth, I feel faint.
What kind of hypnotist are you? Stay on the ball!
I'm sorry, Mentor.
I told you not to call me that. You're not my apprentice.
Okay, Mentor.
What don't you get?
We're late already! Hurry up! Mr. Sanma is the lead role in this series.
-When will we reach the airport? -We're stuck in traffic.
Stuck in traffic?
Jimmy. We're not in traffic. We're behind a parked car.
What?
THE CAST'S FIRST MEETING
TBS - MIDORIYAMA STUDIOS
-This way? -Yes, this way.
There you are!
-You're so late! -Sorry.
-That damn money! -Sorry.
Sorry to keep you all waiting!
Good morning.
CAST MEETING SEVEN MEN AND WOMEN, ONE SUMMER
We're ready to begin.
The role of Ryosuke Imai will be played by Mr. Sanma Akashiya.
I'm Sanma Akashiya.
I heard Tokyo was full of handsome guys and hot girls, so, I was a little nervous.
But by the looks of things,
that's not really true. So, that's a relief.
Looking forward to working with you all.
Hey.
ACTRESS - SHINOBU OTAKE
What is it?
Do you like the stage name "Sanma"?
-Well, it's my name. -You didn't like "Sardine"?
My mentor gave it to me.
I see.
So, your mentor likes fish.
No.
"Pickerel Akashiya"? That would've been nice, too.
Are you crazy?
Maybe even "Octopus Akashiya"?
And next, the role of Momoko Kanzaki will be played by Shinobu Otake.
I'm Shinobu Otake. I hope we all enjoy the shoot.
The first time I read the script, the thing I felt most was,
Momoko is... very honest,
but she's a bit contrary,
and she's very charming... and popular,
so not at all like me.
I'm looking forward to this.
SANMA AND SHINOBU ARE A HIT!
The ratings are 24 percent?
Seven Men and Women is doing amazingly well!
Hey. What are you smiling about? What's that?
It's a present from Young Boss. He said it looks just like me.
I doubt it. It looks like you?
It's the spitting image!
It's my treasure.
Take good care of it.
And you have to try harder so you can be in a TV drama, too.
-But I hate TV dramas. -Why?
They're no fun. When I watch them shoot, I can't stop laughing.
That doesn't make sense.
You hate dramas. They're no fun.
But when they shoot the dramas, you can't stop laughing?
When I see them so serious, it makes me laugh.
When Sanma acts in the drama, he has to be serious.
That's why it's so hard to keep myself from laughing.
What happens if he's shooting a love scene with Ms. Shinobu Otake?
What can we do with you?
I love Young Boss when he does comedy.
-And on top of that... -What?
When Young Boss shoots dramas, he gets friendly with the actresses.
He has to. They work as a team.
-You're jealous? -No, I'm not!
I knew it.
Sanma Akashiya is your Number One for everything.
You're happy just to be around him.
I see, I see.
That's all for tonight on Young Town. Tune in next week. Bye!
-Great job, guys! Thanks!
-Thanks. -Well, well...
You really made us laugh again today.
Sanma, I need your advice.
How about changing one of the segments next week?
-Great. A new segment? -Yeah.
Do you have any good ideas?
Let me see.
If we're gonna change, we should do something the others don't.
-Exactly. -For example... You know...
-I'll think about it. -What?
Hey!
Think about it!
Poor-boy stories? On radio?
Yeah.
You're going to brag to the listeners about how poor you are.
That's a good idea. It sounds fun.
-Nobody's poorer than us! -How true.
That's for sure.
It's perfect, right?
And who's gonna be on it?
-Shoji! -Yes!
Big Bro Okure!
-And you, Jimmy. -What?
-M-- Me, too? -Yes.
What's wrong? You don't wanna be on?
I do, but... I didn't think I'd ever be on Young Boss's radio.
Well, do your best.
Yes, sir. I will do my best!
What's with you?
-Quit being so nervous! -Yes, sir.
Be like you were at the meeting.
-Take it easy. Relax, would you. -Yes, sir.
Here comes the new segment.
Ready.
Japan has become a wealthy nation.
But I have some terribly poor men, right here with me.
Please listen,
and hear their poor souls scream.
-Good evening. -Not yet. You're last.
-I'm first. -Go ahead.
-"Go ahead"? I'm first! -I'm sorry.
-Hurry up. -Sorry.
I'm Shoji Murakami.
Have any of you ever been so poor...
you had to walk from Kobe all the way to Nanba?
I did. Three times!
Three times.
I'm Mr. Okure.
I hadn't been home in a while. I opened my closet and...
-mushrooms were growing on my futon. -What a filthy place!
Of course, I ate them.
You ate them? You did? Seriously?
-Now you. -Yes, sir.
Goo-- Goo-- Good evening. I'm Jimmy Onishi.
Well...
-Well... -Say your joke.
My joke?
Have you ever eaten sushi without any fish?
It just tastes sour. It's not tasty at all.
Why describe the taste? Idiot.
"Why"? I don't know "why" or "how."
FUJI TELEVISION
KEISUKE MIYAKE - DIRECTOR OF FUNNY TRIBE
This one is much better.
-Kids don't like my businessman character. -I liked it.
Mr. Sanma, I heard your new segment on Young Town.
You did? How was it?
It's funny.
It is! And we're getting great feedback from the fans.
Why don't you do a segment like that for us on Funny Tribe?
That would be great.
I was thinking...
Why don't we add unnecessary extravagance with a live chorus band?
-Sounds silly, right? -That's a great idea.
-Right? -Yeah.
Firstly, we'll pitch them as "The Poor Boy Trio."
-But, oh... -What is it?
That last kid, Jimmy...
His jokes aren't funny, but his persona is.
But he's not immediately laughable. He's like a mille-feuille.
You're right. He is.
But I'm sure we could convey his funniness if we had the right setup.
We have to find a different way to make that persona shine.
I'll come up with something for him. Thank you.
But that Jimmy... He probably wanted to be part of "The Poor Boy Trio."
If that's true, I feel sorry for...
Just talking to myself.
Oh, I see.
Recording in five, four, three, two.
WE ARE THE FUNNY TRIBE "HOW MANY IN OUR TRIO?"
Howl.
Howl! Howl! Howl!
Listen to them cry. "How Many In Our Trio?"
Give these poor boys a pocketful of love.
First up is Seiji Maeda.
SEIJI MAEDA
Did you folks know?
Bank cards...
You can't withdraw a sum less than 1000 yen with them! Why not?
Where's the punch line? You have no punch line?
Did you drop your punch line somewhere?
If you can find the punchline...
please send it here.
Next up is Mr. Okure.
Do you folks know what people really smell like?
Not when they're alive. When they're dead.
When I didn't eat for three days,
I smelt like the rotting dead.
The other day you woke up next to a dead rat.
It bit me right here. What good friends!
Next up,
Shoji Murakami.
You know the saying, folks.
The saying goes, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."
Well, I am broke! Come and fix me!
The "How Many In Our Trio?" are funny. They'll be a hit.
-Yes. They're really funny. -Right?
Hey!
Should you be laughing?
Your position was stolen by that Seiji.
-Doesn't that make you mad? -Mad? Why would I be?
You don't mind being the only one left out?
I'm pretty happy with how things are already.
Onishi. You got a call.
Who is it?
-Big Bro Sanma. -Young Boss?
A-- Are you in Tokyo, sir?
Yeah. And I'll be here for a little longer.
Wanna join me?
I sure do!
But...
What is it?
I don't have any money. I couldn't buy a ticket.
Borrow it from someone. I'll buy you a hundred tickets.
Thank you.
I hung up on him! What's the number?
I don't know the number.
I'M THE ONLY ONE
RECEPTION
Are you Jimmy?
I'm Kamio, the producer.
-Mr. Kamio? -What's on today? A shoot?
Oh, no. I'm waiting here for Young Boss.
-A rendezvous? -Yes.
Sounds like you're lovers.
I'm busy, so, I'll have to go. Tell Sanma I said hi.
Yes, sir.
-Do your best. -You do your best!
I wish you all the best.
Sure.
He stinks! What is that smell?
Jimmy.
Young Boss!
You came.
I'll pay for the ticket later. Don't worry.
Y-- Yes, sir.
Hey, he's here.
Hey.
What? Everyone's here?
You don't want us here?
I thought we'd be alone.
You thought you were going on a date with Big Bro? You're gross!
The shooting won't finish for a while. Wait at home for me.
-Bye. -Bye.
-Young Boss. -What is it?
Aren't you lonely by yourself?
Yes, I'm so lonely. How old do you think I am?
And put that luggage in my car.
-Yes, sir. -Take extra care.
-I'm counting on you. -Yes, sir.
-Take care. -Bye!
Let's go.
There it is.
What's this?
We have to take it to his place.
Let's go.
Ready, go.
It's heavy! W-- What's in this bag?
-Just don't drop it. -Be careful.
-I think I'm going to drop it. -Hey!
-Put it down gently. -Be careful.
Be careful.
Here goes.
Be careful.
That was hot.
-Are you okay? -Pull me out.
Ready? Heave ho!
-I feel dizzy. -Meet Ms. Misato.
-Introduce yourself. -Who is she? -She's Young Boss's special lady. -His girlfriend?
I didn't know a thing.
-Did you all know? -Who could do this without knowing?
If they were seen together, there would be trouble.
We always help them keep it secret.
I didn't know anything about it.
-Ouch! -Introduce yourself!
Anyway, you're Jimmy, right? Sanma talks about you all the time.
She's Ms. Misato. She's an actress.
So what?
Okay, let's make dinner. Before Sanma comes home.
-Okay. -I'll park the car.
I'll clean up here.
-Know where it goes? -I do.
-That's why I said you need to change. -Why are you being so bossy?
-I'm not. I told you before. -Yeah. -They really suit each other. -Maybe he's serious this time.
-I'm so full. -Yeah. It tasted great.
Really? I'm glad.
-Okay, it's time to go home. -You're leaving already? Stay longer.
But I've got a shoot early tomorrow. I need my beauty sleep.
I see.
-Good luck. -Thanks. Eat it all up.
-Put her in the bag. -Yes, sir.
-I'm off then. -I'll get the car.
Okay. I'll put you in.
Okay, put me in.
What are you smiling about?
Nothing.
That means...
I win.
Really?
That's what he was waiting for?
What's with that guy Seiji? That used to be my seat.
Jimmy, are you bored, too?
Yes.
Want to do a quiz?
-Here goes. -Okay.
"When you are in Rome..."?
This one's super easy.
-When I am in Rome... -"When you are in Rome..."?
"I'm lost."
You're right.
If you were in Rome, you would be lost. It's just as Jimmy says.
Jimmy, that one was funny. Tossan, give him another.
"Walls have..."?
"Earrings."
What a trendy wall.
"When the cat's away..."?
-"The early bird gets..."? -"Eye boogers."
Because they're so sleepy? That's gross!
-"Love me, love my..."? -Love me, love my...
-It's an animal. -"Cannibal."
"Love my cannibal"? There's a lovable cannibal somewhere, eh?
What would happen if you didn't love it?
You really are scary!
He's great!
They all went to the TV station.
What a mess!
Welcome home, sir!
What happened here?
Jimmy, did you clean all this?
-Yes, sir. -You're amazing, Jimmy.
It's so clean!
-Hey, Jimmy... -Yessir?
I don't think I'll ever marry anyone.
Maybe I should live with you.
Yes, sir.
Okay!
Okay. Okay.
There's no food in here.
-This one's on me. -Thank you!
Oh, Jimmy! You filled up the fridge, too?
Yep.
You really are so thoughtful. Misato's no good at all.
I broke up with her.
I knew it. All I need...
is you. Jimmy, you're the only one I need.
How can you lie like that? Enough of your blatant lies!
Ouch! Don't be an idiot! Why would I lie?
What happened?
Hey, Jimmy. Misato's got it all wrong.
-All wrong? -He has another girlfriend.
Look how clean this room is!
-Some girl cleaned it for you! -I told you, you're wrong!
-It was you, right? -Yes, sir.
Liar! He wouldn't fold the toilet paper like that.
He's a boy. A gorilla-like boy. No way would he fold it!
But that's what he does.
I don't believe you!
Enough!
Jimmy, explain it to her. She won't listen to me.
I'm getting changed.
But it's the truth.
I like things neat.
That's why I fold toilet paper, like in hotels...
Again? What is this?
It's the same smell.
It's exactly the same.
It's the same smell as that producer.
You have the same smell as that producer Kamio.
You reek of it.
You smelt like that yesterday.
Why? You really stink.
Don't tell me! Are you and that Kamio guy?
What are you talking about?
Of course not, Jimmy.
Young Boss!
What's wrong, Misato?
That creep, Jimmy... he touched my bottom.
-Really? -No. I didn't do that.
Liar! You grabbed me!
No, I didn't!
She smelled. I smelt it on her.
-Smell? -Yes.
There's a guy who has the same smell.
He was going to attack me.
He came up to me and kept sniffing.
He's a creep!
Did you do that?
No... I was...
He's been planning to attack me the whole time. I know it!
Jimmy,
you're acting strange.
Have you got your weird horny problems again?
I didn't... I didn't touch her.
-Which of you is lying? -Him!
Jimmy,
what are you trying to do?
I just...
I just want to be with you.
But...
That woman...
She is a slut!
That's enough!
That smell...
I will never forget it.
Hey!
Jimmy!
Let him go.
FUJI TELEVISION
I will never forget it.
Hey!
-"Walls have..."? -"Earrings."
What a trendy wall.
I got it.
Mr. Miyake?
It's Sanma.
I'd like to talk to you about Jimmy.
Hey, Jimmy. Did you have fun in Tokyo?
You're unfriendly today.
-Good job, guys. -Good job.
-Hello. -Hello.
-Mr. Sanma, can we have a meeting later? -Sure thing.
The chief wants to talk about Jimmy.
Jimmy? Perfect. I have this idea--
He's planning to fire Jimmy from the agency.
What?
-What's this? -You know what I mean.
He made you late for that cast meeting.
I'm firing him because he always causes trouble.
Am I being unreasonable?
That's who he is. And I still think he's funny.
Funny?
No, he's not.
He's just a troublemaker. He's what they call "socially unfit."
Socially unfit?
If that's what you're talking about, then so am I.
I've been called that, too.
It was a joke.
Someone said it as a joke, right?
Joke or not, it means I have the potential to be seen as "socially unfit," too.
In Jimmy's case, you may be right.
But please, think about it.
Yoshimoto's history is full of people like him.
Sorry. I don't know much about Yoshimoto's history.
Doesn't everyone have a flaw or two?
I'm no exception.
Comedians barely scrape through everyday life. They're all eccentrics.
That's what makes 'em funny, right?
"A strange guy, pretending to be normal."
That's what a comedian is.
He's no different.
In a way,
he's me.
You have to look after guys like that. That's what Yoshimoto does.
-I wasn't expecting a lecture from you. -It's not a lecture.
That's what I like about Yoshimoto.
That's why I'm here.
To be honest,
I think most of them won't succeed.
But the ones that truly love comedy...
They learn their lessons and become funny.
That's what Yoshimoto is.
If you just fired them, you'd have nobody left.
Nobody would create anything.
So...
If we keep that monkey, what will he create?
Mr. Sanma, what did the chief say?
He said a lot of things.
Long story short,
he wants to fire Jimmy.
Oh, my! But he doesn't have any solid reason, does he?
Right.
Where's Jimmy?
Well, I can't find him anywhere.
Jimmy hasn't been very bright lately.
-He hasn't committed suicide, has he? -Suicide?
No, he's probably just gone to buy a banana or something.
-Oh, a banana. -Oh, my God!
-Old lady!
It's Jimmy!
What did he do?
-They took him away in an ambulance. -What?
What should we do?
Jimmy!
That episode showed about you and your driving.
You were supposed to get your license in two weeks.
That was the school's slogan. And it took you six months.
Thank you for everything.
I don't want you to thank me.
But thanks to you, the school had to change their slogan.
The guarantee was,
"Everyone gets their license in just two weeks."
But you took six months.
-They told you all the answers, right? -Yes.
For the written test.
But even though they told you the answers, you thought,
"He's trying to trick me." So, you ticked the other boxes.
"He failed again."
It's not featured in this series, but something else surprised me more.
It happened back when I was married.
You were driving me somewhere from my place in Setagaya.
You took off okay.
Then you said, "I know a shortcut."
You went down streets with no traffic. Then we arrived back home.
I remember you ended up crying.
-Right? -I was...
I don't really want to make an excuse here, but...
-You were living in Sangubashi... -That's right.
You lived together there, and after you got married...
-We went to Setagaya's Yakumo. -To Setagaya's Yakumo.
But the very night you moved, after I dropped you off...
I got a map from Master Tamori.
He knows the roads. He's really into maps.
So, he told you the way?
He said, "Jimmy,
now Sanma's moved into his new place in Setagaya,
the traffic will always be hell.
So, Jimmy, you have to take this route." -He taught me. -I remember.
Master Tamori said, "Don't worry. This route has no traffic."
Because he said there was no traffic, I followed the streets with no traffic.
And then I ended up back at your house.
You did that, too.
So, this is the end.
-That was nearly the whole truth? -Yes, it was.